Hope in the Darkness
by idealskeptic
Summary: Canon. Set during Mockingjay so spoiler-y. When it's announced that victors will be the tributes in the 75th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta knows all too well what that means. She knows Finnick is in danger and she knows the revolution will come. How can the "mad girl" from District 4 get through it all?


**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author's Note: **This is a _**Hunger Games **_story that focuses on Annie and Finnick from about halfway through _Catching Fire _all the way through _Mockingjay_. If you haven't read those books and don't want to be spoiled, DO NOT READ THIS. It deals with character death and angsty issues so I would call it Rated M.

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**HOPE IN THE DARKNESS**

by _idealskeptic_

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_The Reading_

"He's trying to kill you."

They were the first words that I spoke after I watched President Snow read the card announcing the Quarter Quell for the 75th Hunger Games. I said them to Finnick, because I knew I was right. "Did you know? Finnick, did you know this is the Quell? You would have told me if you knew, wouldn't you?"

Mags answered for him, leaving Finnick to stare at the now blank television screen. "He didn't know, Annie," she told me, her words oddly clear to me. "None of us did."

I ran out of the house and to the hammock I'd woven from one of his old fishing nets. It was my safe place, the place I went whenever I needed to be alone. Lately, I'd needed it less and less**,** but I knew I'd need it more and more between now and Reaping Day. The hammock wasn't far enough away from the house that I was completely cut-off, though. I could still hear things inside if they were loud enough**,** and Finnick and Mags could keep track of me if they wanted to. They just knew not to disturb me unless it was an emergency.

I just managed to pull my hands away from my ears when I heard Mags raise her voice, something she never did.

"She's not going into the arena, boy," she shouted.

"Her name will be pulled," Finnick replied, just barely loud enough for me to hear him.

I heard Mags thump her cane on the floor. "And I'm going to volunteer. That's all there is to it, boy. All you have to do is survive and get home to her."

"She's right, though. Snow wants me dead. I'm too dangerous. I know too much. You don't think he'll set it up to make sure Brutus or Gloss gets a shot at me?"

I crept closer to the window to make sure I could hear everything. The first thing I heard was another thump of her cane again and this time it was on his foot, I knew that because I heard him swear under his breath.

"For the first time in ten years, you're disappointing me," she told him, her voice softer this time. "Don't you dare give up before you start. That's not you, Finnick. You fight and you survive, that's all there is to it."

"Maybe they'll get me out," I heard Finnick say sullenly. "Plutarch keeps talking about some plan he's working on with District 13. I can hope for that."

"Plutarch Heavensbee is an old windbag," Mags declared. "He may very well have something planned, or planning, but you can't count on him. You can only count on yourself. Remember that."

Finnick stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "I do remember. That's the same thing you told me when I was fourteen. I'll remember it, Mags, I promise."

She patted his back and sighed. "Good boy. Now go find your girl. You need her as much as she needs you."

I darted back to my hammock and tried to look innocent. It wasn't hard. Finnick never saw anything bad in me even though it was all I saw. He didn't say anything, he just climbed onto the hammock and wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like all night, only unwrapping ourselves and going inside when Mags called us for breakfast.

_The Reaping_

I crept out of bed hours before dawn and took refuge in my hammock. I'd tried to convince Mags to let me go if my name was drawn, but she refused. Finnick did, too. I tried to argue with him, and I almost had him convinced, but then Mags pulled me aside and explained the reality of it to me.

First, the Capitol wasn't going to have two winners again. That meant that Finnick would be keeping me alive and, if he succeeded, I'd come home without him. If he went alone, he could fight to come to me.

I hated it when Mags made sense.

So I sat in my hammock and tried to prepare myself to say goodbye to Finnick. I did the math; there was a four percent chance that Finnick would outlive twenty-three other victors who would soon be tributes. I didn't like those odds, even if it was Finnick. Another thing I didn't like was something else I'd overheard; Plutarch had asked Finnick and Johanna Mason – I didn't know her but I knew she was Finnick's friend – to protect the girl from District 12 because he said she was important to the rebellion. The one I wasn't supposed to know about.

I didn't want him protecting her. If he did, he'd be in danger. I couldn't tell him that, though, because I wasn't supposed to know about it. I just had to trust Finnick to come home to me. And I did.

"You're dressed already?" Finnick said softly as he walked up to me. "You look beautiful, Annie Cresta."

"I wish I didn't have to," I murmured, putting my hand over his when he touched my cheek. "I love you, you know that, don't you?"

"It's what keeps me alive."

I stood up and melted into his arms. "Is it time to go?"

"Mm-hmm," he hummed. "May as well get on with the inevitable, right?"

It was good theory but a stupid reality.

I didn't kiss Finnick because it would be a kiss goodbye and I had to see him again. If I didn't give him that, he'd have to come back for it.

I stood with Mags in the square. There was another female victor with us but I didn't like her because she treated me, Finnick, and Mags badly. Finnick stood in the other section with the two other male victors. I'd never seen him look so pale. The others looked relieved before it even started. They knew their names wouldn't be drawn.

I was proud of how I'd held myself together at first, but the more crowded the square got and the more Peacekeepers that spread out, the harder I started to shake. I didn't hear the blue haired Capitol man's speech, or the mayor read the Treaty of Treason, or President Snow's words on the video. The first thing I heard was my name. And then I started to scream.

Over my own screams, I heard Finnick's name.

He pushed past the Peacekeepers and came to me, kneeling on the ground beside me. He held my face in his hands, just like he always did when I was the worst. "I won't kiss you because I know you don't want that, but I love you, Annie, and I'm coming back to you. Remember that."

I nodded as he was pulled away from me. I stayed on the ground as he climbed the steps to the stage. I stayed there when he and Mags were ushered inside the Justice Building. I stayed there until one of the male victors, I didn't pay attention to which, picked me up and carried me back to the Victor's Village.

_The Games_

A dozen people offered to stay with me, or for me to stay with them during the days before the Games started and during the Games. I turned them all down. Finnick probably hoped I'd stay with someone, but I couldn't. I needed to see it all on my own. If he died, I didn't want to be comforted. If he died, I didn't want to be stopped from following him.

I watched the parade and I only really saw Finnick. He looked like the man the Capitol adored, and the crowd did just that, but I could see the fear and sadness in his eyes. I could see Finnick.

When he read the poem during his interview with Caesar Flickerman, every woman in Panem probably thought, hoped, and prayed he was talking to her. He wasn't, though. He was talking to me.

The Games were a blur. I felt relief when I saw that the arena was water – Finnick knew water, and even jungles. He allied himself right away with Katniss Everdeen, but she seemed like a good enough fighter; if what I'd heard about Plutarch's plans was right, maybe they could both survive long enough. Mags wouldn't, though. I knew she didn't expect to survive that arena.

She was right. I screamed and sobbed and smashed things when she walked into the mist.

That I smashed things last was good because it let me focus on the screen again before I went back into my dark world. What I saw gave me hope. Katniss tried to save Mags, to carry her tosafety and she seemed truly upset that she failed. Then she and Peeta made sure that Finnick was taken care of when they could have run away and left him for some other tribute to kill. Maybe she, they, were worth saving.

If Plutarch came through with his plan.

I didn't like Beetee, though. His plan seemed sketchy and complicated. But Finnick went along with the plan and I trusted him.

I don't think I should have.

Katniss blew out the force field and the television screen went black.

The next thing I knew, Peacekeepers were knocking down my door and forcing me into a car. I was taken to the Capitol by train.

_The Prisoner_

"You are well, Miss Cresta?"

I didn't answer President Snow's question. I wasn't well and I never would be, but he already knew that.

"Well, then, let us move directly to the matter at hand," he said, letting me not answer. "I doubt seriously that the traitors told you anything of their plans for this rebellion. After all, you are not the most stable of people. Although I do find it much more likely that Finnick Odair is simply protecting you. He knows that the less you know, the less you can be used or tortured.

"So, Miss Cresta, how much do you know? Answer me honestly and you will be returned to your cell and left in peace."

It made me nervous that he would be the only judge of my honesty, but I answered him the best I could because it only made sense that if I gave him a little, he wouldn't ask for more. "Plutarch Heavensbee was planning something with District 13," I told him. "I heard Finnick and Mags talking about it. But that's all I know."

President Snow touched my cheek, sending shivers down my spine and forcing me to sit on my hands instead of putting them over my ears. "I'm not quite sure why, Miss Cresta, but I believe you. Thank you for helping me. Now, I'm going to have the guards take you back to your cell. Since you've been so open with me, I'm going to ensure that you have enough to eat and blankets to keep you warm. You understand why I must keep you in a cell for the time being, don't you?"

Deciding it was the best answer, I nodded.

"Excellent," he declared, motioning the guard who'd brought me to his office forward. "The only other thing I can tell you, Miss Cresta, is that it would be in your best interests if Finnick Odair leave the rebels and join me in my fight for Panem. If he persists in helping them, I cannot foresee good things for either of you. Good day, Miss Cresta."

The cells are so strange. Strange to normal minds, anyway, but to the minds of people who want absolute control over everyone, they probably make perfect sense. The fronts of the cells, where the doors are, were metal bars. The back wall was cold, wet bricks. Most of the side walls were brick too, except for the huge piece of glass with a screen high up at the top. They wanted everyone to see and hear everything that happens to their neighbor.

I was given a cell at the end of a hallway and I only had glass on one side – maybe because I was of little value and wouldn't be tortured too much. Peeta Mellark was in the cell next to me, and he was kind enough to tell me right away that Finnick had been alive the last time he saw him.

Over the next weeks, my days and nights were filled with the screams of people being tortured. Some of it seemed so far away and some of it seems so close. It was all I could do to not scream along with them.

Peeta wasn't tortured like the others are. I knew very early that they were trying to poison him against Katniss, the girl it was so easy to see he really loves. He fought them every step of the way, he fought hard, but I knew he'd lose in the end. Anyone who fights the Capitol loses in the end.

I tried to help him win, though. When he was left alone in his cell, I'd creep to the glass and tell him that everything he just heard was wrong, that he loved Katniss. He always heard what I said and agreed with it, but I never knew how long he'd remember.

Then one day two guards took me to the showers and left me alone to clean up. They were talking just outside the stall about how President Snow was planning to bomb District 13 into dust to end the rebellion right then and there. They were very excited about the prospect. I wasn't. Not only was Finnick there, but I wanted the rebellion to win. I knew right away there was only one thing that I could do.

I had to tell Peeta what I'd heard.

They put him on television to make propaganda statements**,** but I thought that, maybe, he could hold onto his love of Katniss long enough to break through the tracker jacker venom they injected him with and warn her, and District 13, of what was coming.

So I told him.

He wasn't confident he'd be able to remember it long enough, but he promised to try.

It was all we could do.

Prisoners weren't allowed to watch the broadcasts but I knew Peeta had remembered when he was brought back and, for the first time in the weeks we'd been neighbors, he screamed as they beat him. He screamed a lot. He screamed, he sobbed, he begged them to stop then he did it all over again.

I curled into a tiny ball, eyes squeezed shut and hands clamped over my ears, and felt incredibly guilty that he was suffering so much and I wasn't. I just hoped it was worth it.

_The Rescue_

The Capitol soldiers' uniforms were white, these soldiers wore gray.

I trusted anything that wasn't white.

The gray soldier that came to me was bleeding from a wound in his shoulder, but it didn't seem to slow him down. "Are you Annie Cresta?" he asked me when I woke up on a hovercraft. When I nodded, he smiled wearily at me. "My name's Gale Hawthorne. We're going to District 13. Finnick's there, he's waiting for you."

I sat up and looked at him, trying to make my foggy mind make sense of things. "Finnick?"

"Yep, Finnick," he confirmed. "He's okay. He just misses you, I think."

I missed him too. I shook my head and tried to clear it again. "Peeta? Johanna? Are they okay?" I asked Gale, who I vaguely remembered from watching Katniss' Games. He was her cousin, or something.

Gale nodded over his injured shoulder to where two people were lying on stretchers and covered with sheets. "We had to use a gas to get you out without too much trouble. They haven't woken up yet, but they're okay. The gas is why you might feel a little muddled."

"Did anyone die?" I asked before I could stop myself. He answered, but I didn't hear him because I had already covered my ears. He waited patiently until I calmed myself down and then repeated himself. "No, no one was killed on the mission, Annie. Just some injuries."

I looked at his shoulder again. "That's not bound up right," I told him. "That's why it's still bleeding. Do you want me to fix it?"

Gale seemed surprised that I offered, and I was a little surprised too, but he turned around so I could reach his shoulder better. The injury wasn't too serious, but it was a lot like fisherman in District 4 got when they were accidentally hit with spears, hooks, or tridents on the boats, so I knew what to do. I had to take off his shirt, and I had to take a minute to compose myself when I saw the scars on his back – I wasn't sure I wanted to know why he'd been whipped, but then I worked quickly to take care of his injury.

"Thanks," he said when I was done. "That feels better already."

I sighed and chewed my bottom lip, not sure if he meant that or was only saying it because he knew I was crazy. I sat still as he reached to the side and came back with a wet cloth. Taking my hands gently, he wiped his blood off them.

"Thank you," I murmured. "I don't like blood."

"I'd be worried if you did," he said quietly. "We're almost there, you should buckle up."

It wasn't long before I was being led through a warren of tunnels and hallways deep below the earth. I didn't like it. I liked fresh air and sunlight but Gale said that Finnick was waiting for me and I would go anywhere for Finnick.

It took him too long to get to the hospital to find me but when he did, I threw myself into his arms.

If anyone thought we were crazy for laying tangled on the floor, well, we probably were but, for once, I didn't care if I was crazy. I had Finnick.

_The Reunion_

I lay on the bed in our compartment and tied knots in the tattered rope Finnick had given me. Finnick was lying next to me, watching my fingers manipulate the rope. It'd taken us three days to convince Haymitch to take three days to convince Plutarch to take three days to convince President Coin to give us a compartment together. Apparently there were rules about unmarried people living together, not to mention the not so secretive debate about whether or not we were mentally sound enough to live outside the hospital. But we had our compartment now and I never wanted to leave.

Finnick and I had even had an argument over whether or not I should be assigned a job. I won by pointing out that he was training as a soldier now so I had to do my part. He relented when Haymitch found out that the laundry needed another person. Apparently it was safe enough. That and I was going to work with Hazelle Hawthorne. I liked her. Her son had been so nice to me and her other children were so sweetly polite.

"I wish we didn't have to be apart," Finnick said as he walked me to my first day of work, knowing no one would complain when he was late to training.

There was no way I could be a soldier, the very thought sent chills down my spine. I bit my tongue, hard, to keep from saying that he didn't have to be one either. To have him stay with me, safely in the laundry, was a dream I didn't dare think about. "It won't be long before all this is over and we can be together every moment of every day," I said with more conviction than I felt.

"That day can't come soon enough," he declared, pulling me suddenly into a tiny storage room that I hadn't realized was there. "I'm sorry Plutarch is turning the wedding into a propo. We can call it off if you want. They don't need it."

With my back against a large metal pipe of some sort, I shook my head and put my finger over his lips when he started to protest. "No, Finnick. If making our wedding a propo might end all this sooner, we're making it a propo. It isn't like it will mean anything less because it's on film or because Beetee will make sure President Snow sees it. I still love you more than life itself."

"Don't say that, Annie," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my neck. "Life is too fleeting. If this doesn't turn out perfectly, I don't want you to say that."

I pushed against him, trying to get out of his grasp. "You will not die, Finnick. You wouldn't do that to me. Don't even talk like that." He dropped his hands and I ducked by him, telling him I had to get to work as I ran into the hallway with tears running down my cheeks.

He didn't follow me and I ended up getting lost. Knowing that many areas of District 13 were off limit, I waited quietly by a set of stairs until someone – I think it was Plutarch's assistant – came by and directed me how to get to the laundry. She was definitely from the Capitol and that made her immune to such common things as noticing someone was upset and asking why. For once, I was grateful for that.

Hazelle was waiting for me and, when she saw I was crying, she ushered me inside to a quiet corner where I could do my work without being bothered or stared out. She asked me softly if I wanted to talk about it. I did and I didn't. It wasn't fair to whine to a woman with a son who was sure to be sent into war, again, and three younger children facing reapings if we didn't end the Hunger Games.

"I'm just worried about Finnick," I admitted vaguely. "I just got him back, if he goes to war, I could lose him again."

"They'd let him stay here if he asked," she told me in a whisper. "I think he's important enough to get what he wants. But you'd never ask him to do that, would you?"

I shook my head and smiled sadly. "No, never. I just wish I could go with him but I'd only distract him, just like why Mags volunteered for me. I know that. So it's best not to dwell on it, right? We have important things to do here. The soldiers and the rebels need strong, clean uniforms. That's my job."

Hazelle squeezed my hand and nodded. "It is. But, Annie, when Finnick goes, I want you to know you're welcome to come stay with me."

"I'm crazy," I told her bluntly, easily giving up the pants I'd refolded four times when she tugged them out of my hands. "You have children."

Her words were surprisingly harsh and fervent for someone so quiet and reserved. She spoke softly, though, so I had no choice but to focus to hear her. "You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to, but don't you dare suffer alone because someone has convinced you that you're crazy. If you have someone else to stay with, do that. If you don't, I can think of no better role model for my children than someone as brave, strong, and inherently good as you are, Annie Cresta."

I hadn't believed I was any of those things since the hovercraft pulled me out of the water in my Games. Finnick told me all the time that I was, but he was Finnick. He felt guilty about what happened to me at first, then he fell in love with me, then he felt guilty about falling in love with me, then he decided life was too short to not be in love with me, then …

It was different hearing it from someone else. I didn't think she would just say things without meaning them. Maybe she really did see that in me. I hoped so.

"When he goes, if you still want me to," I agreed shyly, "I'll stay with you."

"That's my girl," she said, smiling as she gave me the pants back. "Now, back to work."

_The Wedding_

"I didn't poke you, did I?" the green skinned girl asked as she stitched a seam at my hip. Maybe it was because they were out of the Capitol, but I kind of liked Katniss' prep team. The man was a little scary and the older woman was a little stiff, but the green girl, Octavia, was lovely. On our trip to District 12 to find a dress for me and get a suit of Peeta's for Finnick, Katniss had confided in me that Octavia was much more subdued than she had been, and I thought she was just fine like that. That's why I'd asked for only her to help me get ready for my wedding. Hazelle was in room, but Octavia was doing everything.

"No, no poking," I assured her. "Is there much more to do?"

"Just one more seam and then you'll be the prettiest bride District 13 has ever seen," she said around the pins in her mouth. "Are you nervous?"

"No," I answered quickly, surprising myself. "No, I don't think I am. I just want to marry Finnick. You were invited to the wedding, weren't you?"

Octavia dropped her eyes back to her sewing and answered with a quiet no.

"Please come, **Y****y**ou helped me find a dress and now you're helping me get ready. I want you there. Venia and Flavius too."

Hazelle came up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Yes, Octavia, just go tell Katniss that the bride wants you and the others there, she'll make sure President Coin and Mr. Heavensbee don't stand in the way of things."

Octavia nodded and quickly finished her work. Congratulating me once more, she packed up her small bag and hurried out of the room.

I couldn't wait to get to Finnick.

That's all I cared about.

I knew Plutarch had ensured that we have as close to a traditional District 4 wedding as possible but I hardly noticed anything other than the man who was marrying me. Nothing else mattered.

We were pronounced husband and wife beneath our net, we danced, and we ate the pretty cake Peeta had decorated for us. I was sad that he couldn't be there with us because he wasn't responsible for how he was. It wasn't his choice, but I understood that Peeta trying to kill Katniss in the middle of a propo could look very bad.

"Can we go back to our compartment now?" I whispered in Finnick's ear when it was easy to see that President Coin was impatient for things to end. I was just as antsy as she was.

He hadn't let go of my hand all evening, and he didn't as he thanked Plutarch and President Coin for allowing us the wedding and told them that we were going home. I heard her tell everyone to get back to work before we were even out of the dining hall.

Once we were alone, blissfully alone, Finnick laid me down on the bed and leaned over to kiss me. "I'm sorry I'm not more experienced," I whispered, suddenly nervous.

"I'm sorry I am," he whispered back, his own worry clearly evident in his eyes. "But I've only ever loved you. You know that, don't you?"

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him, impatient to be his wife in every way.

_The War_

I let him lie to me. I asked him if he was going to the Capitol and he said he wasn't. I let him believe that I believed him. If it was what he needed to focus on what he had to do and not worry about me, I had to give him that.

When I saw him off, not ever willing to say goodbye, I wanted to latch onto him and never let him go. I'd been afraid of a lot of things in my life, but nothing terrified more than the idea of Finnick not coming back to me.

The moment his back was turned, I slid down the wall outside our compartment and curled into a tiny ball. I just wanted the pain to stop but I knew it wouldn't, not until he was back in my arms where he belonged. That's when all would be right again.

Hazelle found me not long after. She knelt beside me and wrapped me in her arms. The still functioning part of my mind decided she knew where and when to find me because Finnick and Gale were in the same squad. Gale would be with Katniss and Katniss would be going to the Capitol**,** so I knew, with as much certainty as possible without actually being told, that Finnick was going to the Capitol.

Finnick never, ever belonged in the Capitol.

I stayed with Hazelle and her children. I kept myself together when the little ones were around, although Rory spent most of his free time with Primrose Everdeen, and only fell apart when I was alone or when Hazelle was with me. It was easier to be okay when Posy was around. She made me forget. She made me laugh and she made me smile. She made me wonder if I could ever be a good mother.

I was alone the day that Vick flew into the compartment and 'accidentally' threw a ball at the television screen, cracking it down the center just as the seal of Panem flickered on the screen. I should have been mad that he was keeping things from me but he was a child and meant well so I waited, eyes closed and ears covered, until Hazelle got back.

She gently pulled my hands down and made me look at her. "Haymitch told Vick to break the screen," she explained softly. "The Capitol aired a news clip that declared all of them to have been killed."

"Aren't they?" I asked, confused by the calm, determined look in her eyes.

"Haymitch says that Plutarch hasn't gotten any word that it's true. There are enough people on our side in the Capitol that they're confident we would know for sure if it was true."

I felt myself start to sink and, desperate not to, I hugged her tightly. After all, her son was out there – just as dead or not dead as Finnick was.

I trusted Hazelle, and Finnick had always trusted Haymitch, so I did, too. If they believed Finnick was still alive, I did, too.

I believed it until I went to sleep that night. I dreamed of Finnick coming to me and telling me how proud of me he was and how much he loved me. He didn't say it, but I knew. I knew the dream was a goodbye. And goodbyes are always final.

I kept my revelation to myself, trying to let everyone else's hope and confidence buoy me until I knew for sure. It was so hard.

And then one day, just a few days after Vick broke the television, Haymitch came to the laundry and asked Hazelle and I to come with him. I didn't want to go. To go would be to know and I didn't want to know. But I went.

He took us to an empty roomed and pulled the door shut. "Plutarch's got word from someone he trusts that Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Cressida, and Pollux are in a safehouse. The message said only that and that they plan to go toward the City Center as soon as they can. There was nothing about the rest of the squad. They could be alive somewhere else but…" He stopped when his voice broke, swallowing hard and looked at me for the first time. "I'm sorry, Annie. I'm so sorry."

My hands were on the table in front of me and they were getting wet. I didn't understand why until I realized that tears were streaming down my cheeks. I didn't scream or sob or shriek. I just cried. The room could have burned down around me and I wouldn't have known. I was back in the world I'd created for myself during my Games. It was my refuge.

There was something about it, though. Finnick was there. He held me and told me he was sorry, that he loved me, and that he'd never leave me – not as long as I lived for him. I wanted to stay there with him forever.

If I could have sat at that table until I wasted away to nothing, I would have. It seemed so easy.

Finnick was dead and I was alive. There was something wrong in the world. I didn't have the strength to try and fix it because I knew it couldn't be fixed. Not ever.

_The Widow_

I woke up in a hospital bed. Hazelle was holding my hand. She told me so much.

She told me that President Snow had been captured, that the Capitol had fallen, that President Coin was in charge, that President Coin wanted all living victors in the Capitol before Katniss executed President Snow … she told me that there were just seven of us; me, Katniss, Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria, Haymitch, and Beetee.

She told me that Finnick's body had been recovered in the tunnels beneath the city, that they were keeping it until I said what should happen to it.

She told me that I was pregnant.

I wasn't surprised. When Finnick came to me in the dream and told me to live for him, I'd wondered if maybe he knew, if he wanted me to live for him and his child.

I didn't want to go to the Capitol, not ever again. But I sat between Johanna and Haymitch on the hovercraft that was taking us there. I didn't really care what President Coin wanted from me, I didn't like her or trust her, but I was going for Finnick.

I was a living victor and I was important so, before I did what she wanted, I demanded that I be allowed to see my husband. Plutarch tried to warn me that perhaps it was something I didn't want to see. I pinned him against the wall, my elbow digging into his throat, and watched his lips turn blue before Haymitch pulled me back. Plutarch told Haymitch where to take me. Having left her children with Octavia, Hazelle came with us and Gale met us there.

I asked him to tell me what happened. I asked him to tell me every detail.

He did. He told me that giant lizard mutts had been chasing them through the tunnels, trying to kill Katniss or get Peeta to do it. He told me Finnick had been one of the last people left on one level. He told me Finnick fought so hard to get free of them. He told me that Katniss blew up something called a holo and dropped it down when they realized there wasn't anything that could be done. He told me he was sorry, sorry that he hadn't been able to do more.

I hugged him quickly, told him he had nothing to be sorry for, and walked around him and into the morgue. A rebel soldier led me to a body covered with a sheet and waited until Hazelle and Haymitch were beside me to pull back the top corner.

His face was almost perfect. It looked like he was sleeping, only sleeping.

I didn't want to see the rest of him, not after what Gale had said. I just needed to do one thing. I needed to kiss my husband one more time.

No one tried to stop me.

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his cold ones. My mind took me back to my refuge and his lips weren't cold anymore. They were warm and his sea green eyes sparkled in the sunlight that danced on the waters of home. That was my Finnick.

_The Survivor_

I tucked my baby boy into the sling and adjusted him on my body.

He was so much like his father. He looked just like him. He gave me a reason to keep living. When I started to drift away, he pulled me back.

It was the first time he and I had really been alone in the days since he was born and I'd been impatient for everyone to leave. So, when he needed his pre-dawn feeding, I did that and then I got him ready to go. He was asleep as I lifted the metal urn off the shelf and kissed it.

I carried it outside and down the beach. It didn't take long to find the old pier where Finnick and I had spent so many hours just sitting and watching the water. I walked to the end of it and sat down, keeping the urn held tightly in my hands.

The water lapped at my feet as dawn began to break on the horizon, and the sounds of the water birds woke up the baby.

I didn't mind him being awake. I had to talk to him, even if he couldn't understand me.

"This was your father's favorite time of day," I explained softly. "He said that dawn meant anything was possible if we just tried hard enough. I'm trying, my angel, I'm trying to make everything possible for you. Your father did, too, that's why he's not here with us now.

"But he is here, isn't he? We can't see him, but he's here. He'll always be here with us. He would never be anywhere else. He has always and will always be my hope in the darkness.

"We're going to spend a lot of time here on this dock, you and me. I hope you grow to love it like your father and I did, like we do."

The wind picked up just when I thought it would, so I stood up and cradled our son with one hand while I tipped the lid off the urn with the other. People of the sea know how to expect just the gust of wind they're waiting for and I did that, swinging my arm in a gentle arc that sent the ashes out in a wave over the water.

Finnick was finally free.

* * *

**THE END**

**Special thanks to: **Everyone who donated to WWF or WSPA for _Stories For Animals_ – a lovely cause I was lucky enough to help **Lea **and **Alex **with. Also to **Carolina **and **Tonesha **for pre-reading this for me and **Paula **for beta'ing and for the amazing banner that perfectly illustrates this story.


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